Sacred Sharing

My mandala :)

Good morning,

I was awoken at 5:37 this morning (very rare for me) and found myself moved gracefully through the next 2 hours as I meditated in candlelight, contemplated the rising smoke from a stick of incense to the sound of peaceful ethereal music, did my version of yoga stretches and then sat down with my sketch pad and a packet of markers to draw a representation of my experience. It appears as though my intention to spend more time with God has taken root after all. I am in gratitude to my friend, Harold, who shared his intention last week to "date God," which I adopted on the spot on some level: “...to set aside ample and generous time to commune with God…to take the time to open myself up to divine energy…to intentionally surrender to Spirit’s presence in me…”

After my meditation, I laid back down under my covers and closed my eyes, relaxing in the Spirit. Rather than fall back asleep, I rested in a meditative state and allowed myself the freedom of my mind wandering and my heart speaking to me about what it is that I want most of all. I was visited by beautifully sweet and deeply heart-centered visions of myself involved in a number of activities, including facilitating a small group through a series of sacred sharing meetings on a book that I just finished reading. I saw myself welcoming into my home people coming to see me for spiritual guidance. I visited memories of beautiful moments I've shared in communion with communities of people in sacred settings, talking, praying, singing. There was such a sweetness to everything passing through my imagination. More than passing through, I felt that they were blossoming - slowly, deliberately, sweetly and beautifully. This is the life that I have lived, am living and want to live.

And now, I am awake, drinking hot tea and responding to emails while in my robe wearing a facial mask. I am at home and at peace, in action and also not 'doing' much of anything. This is how I want to work.

I'll close by sharing with you a reflection from someone who is one of my spiritual forefathers, blessed William Joseph Chaminade, founder of the Marianist tradition of which I am a part through my association with Chaminade High School and the Marianist LIFE program:

" . . I am like a brook that makes no effort to overcome obstacles in its way. All the obstacles can do is hold me up for a while, as a brook is held up; but during that time it grows broader and deeper and after a while it overflows the obstruction and flows along again. That is how I am going to work."

Blessings of light and love to you all,
~Kristin

Graduation Day

I graduated today from the University of Santa Monica with a master of arts degree in Spiritual Psychology. This degree has been described as one in human relationships, but I just like to consider it a degree in loving. :) I have learned over the past 2 years what it truly means to love God, myself and others, all at the same time. I am so grateful to myself, to the Holy Spirit, to my classmates and all who work for and with USM for this incredible, life-changing, layer-peeling experience. It has truly been a transformation.

One of the many gifts I have received from this education is a return to the poet's heart that lives inside of me. When I was very young, I wrote poetry and songs so easily. It seems that about 20 years ago, I tucked that part of me away. But, it was never really gone, and I'm happy to share that I've been writing again. This poem flowed from me early this morning, as I was preparing to begin this very special graduation day. I hope you enjoy it.

“Graduation Day”
Lovingly dedicated to the USM Class of 2010

I’m scared of what may happen – I’m scared of what may be
if I let go, surrender, and let it be. Just let it be.
The fear creeps up inside of me like spiders crawling slow
and when I feel this way I fear there’s nowhere else to go.
Should I just lie here, motionless and wait for it to pass?
Or should I get up, run around and use it as my gas?
Into the stillness here I go to recognize and claim
my power in this time and place to reveal all my shame
unto myself – for it is I whose tight grip holds me fast
and fears the feelings of regret will somehow always last.
But get up – still – I do and then the fear just melts away
as pen and paper meet and sooth my worries for this day.
And I forgive myself for judging fear as something more
than opportunity for healing knocking at my door.
I hold and rock and comfort her and tell her it’s ok
to feel the feelings deep inside and not wish them away.
For feelings can just indicate the presence of control –
of trying desperately to know the way it all will go.
How I am present to myself in these dark times of fear
can be the key to liberating all I hold so dear,
It’s giving up unto the One who knows that it is so,
and never, ever worries that my life will not just grow
into a masterpiece made up of choices I must make
to release, let go and trust that I have everything it takes.
And so with care and steps unsure I move forward today
and give my whole self over to the journey – come what may.

- Kristin Firestone, August 29, 2010