I desire

I am 9 days in to a 40-day program/process called "The Prosperity Plan" (created by John Randolph Price and shared with me by personal life & career coach, & my friend, Kimberly Barclay). Each day, I take about 20 minutes to meditate upon and then journal about one of ten affirmations (called "statements of principle") having to do with abundance, prosperity and fulfillment. My intention in participating in this process is to shift my relationship with money from one of 'having/not having' to one of trusting that I truly have everything that I need, money in the bank or not.

So far, I am gaining incredible insight and peace from this plan. Mostly, I love my morning meditation time, during which I sit on my patio (or, when it's too cold/wet at my dining room table looking out onto the patio), usually with a cup of tea, and sometimes breakfast, and just take in the early time of the day by focusing my attention on what is present for me. Tonight, I'm about to do today's meditation since I woke up in a hurry and started my day in a rush. As I wind down, I am moved to share one reflection in particular which I wrote yesterday after reflecting on principle #8. I hope that even if the religious language doesn't speak to you, you are still able to glean from it the differentiation to which I'm referring regarding what I'm learning goes on inside myself in relationship to that which is mine.

Enjoy!
~Kristin
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10/19/10

I desire what I have.
I have what I desire.
I want nothing.
When I am at my center with God, there is nothing I want or need.

My ego lays on the floor kicking and screaming because it's not getting what it wants.

Christ* sits "on high" within me and sees all, knows all and loves all.

When I align myself with this vantage point when I rise (or climb) above my very earthly, material worldview that sees my life as a series of possessions to be owned rather than blessings to be experienced, I take on the eyes, soul, heart and mind of Christ. I take on, even, the body of Christ, as the ego-ness in me melts away, blends with, gives into and transforms into the body of Christ, which is my true nature. Who I Really Am sees all, knows all, trusts all, believes all, hopes all, endures all, has all it needs and never ends. (see 1 Corinthians 13) I am infinite.

The trouble comes when my ego hears this and misunderstands that it is entitled to this inheritance. It is not; my thoughts, my feelings and body do not possess this nature. But because the ego wants satisfaction so badly, it kicks and screams and gropes and begs and does just about everything it can to convince God to give it what it wants. In this way, I am like a kid in a toy store. My creator, mother/father God is saying "You already have everything you need," and furthermore, "You really want what you have." So God takes me home and shows me all that is already mine: toys a-plenty to entertain me for days, food to nourish me indefinitely, friends with whom to play and share, and endless hugs and kisses to remind me of how loved I am. I forget all about the store and new toys and the wanting. And I am at peace - joy, even - with what is already mine.

It isn't so much what I have that calms the storm (none of it is really "mine," anyway), but the consciousness that points out and remembers all of these things that is truly responsible for the awareness of abundance I now have. There is no need to scold, admonish, guilt or punish myself for my tantrum or my yearning. All that is needed is a loving reminder from mySelf to myself that if only I let go of what I think I want and open up my hands to receive, I will be given all that I need and more: the awareness of what already is.

*By referencing "Christ" I am speaking of the consciousness of the resurrected and transfigured being as a spiritual essence, and not to the person of Jesus as a religious figure.