second-guessing myself
denying my truth
pretending like I don't know
wanting what I don't need
having what I don't want
looking for what I already have
putting off one more thing
thinking I have one more day
yearning and craving and discontenting
wasting time
giving myself away
withholding love from myself
being envious of other people's lives
watching from the sidelines
thinking I can't do it
telling myself that I'm not good enough
denying myself the right to live
hiding how I really feel
biting my tongue
believing any of the false things people say
believing in anything that I know isn't true
doubting myself
living as if I don't care
pretending it doesn't matter
looking for an exit
sitting on the edge
staying up too late
thinking it's cute
wasting precious energy
telling myself I don't deserve it
telling myself I'm not ready
pushing back
holding in
holding on
letting go
giving in
being sad
being angry
being anything
other than
me.
(C) 2012 Kristin Firestone
No comments:
Post a Comment