The untouchable

Upon recommendation of my friend Danielle Rose (whose advice I take to heart), I went to Mass today (and intend to do so every day of Advent. I know - this is unusual for me, but I need my time with Jesus really bad right now).

As I walked to St. Vincent Church, just on the corner of Adams & Figueroa for noon Mass, the thought kept turning over in my mind, "Wait for a miracle." I have been reading, hearing and praying about miracles lately - about God doing something extraordinary with an ordinary moment...or person. Which, though I have lots of gifts and talents (thank God), I am. Just an ordinary person with big hopes and dreams.

So, I walked into the church and followed my intuition to enter the far right door in the back. And as I walked up the aisle to take a seat near the front, a man and I approached one another from opposite directions. He was visibly dirty and smelled bad - a "homeless man." As we got close we both waved. And then as we got closer, he held out his hand to shake mine. And there we stood, hand in hand, for a little while. He looked down and our hands and I looked at him, quietly. He rubbed his thumb back and forth over my thumb. And then I said, softly, "Peace be with you." He pulled me close for a hug and we stood in an embrace for a little longer than a few seconds. I thought that I could maybe say nothing more, and just let the moment be, still and quiet and stinky. :) But I said, "God loves you," after which he pulled away slowly and walked on down the aisle. As I headed toward my seat in the 2nd row, a man in the pew who'd been watching smiled up at me.

I sat in my seat reflecting on this experience that had just passed. Clearly, I thought, this was a small miracle. That I had shown up to church this morning for my "date with Jesus" (Danielle helped me identify that) and then met a man who clearly needed me in the moment. I was there for him - a flesh and bone gift - a human being willing to embrace and be embraced. It was like destiny. And I laughed to myself as the irony of the situation dawned on me, and I recognized God's humor in the situation. I have been praying so hard for God to send me a man... THE man. And I've been longing and lusting so hard after that man (or any man, let's be honest) that God decided to send me a sign that, indeed, my prayers are being heard. I did, in fact, meet a man in church (go figure), but not for the purpose that I had in mind. See, God can turn the desires in my heart into his desires for my heart. And God knew that I needed to encounter someone like this man today to show me that to really love, and to really be an instrument of peace, I need to be willing to go where God needs me and share my love with whoever God puts into my path.

I didn't look around the church for a potential husband today (I do that a lot:). Today, I sat in my own homeless stink connecting with the untouchable Christ. And I thought about the need of that man who reached out to me today, and how it may have been years since he had his arms around a woman. And I quieted my complaining and impatient heart that constantly asks God, "When?" When is it my turn? And I hear God tell me that I what I have today is sufficient enough. The love that I need will be given to me in God's time and God's way.

What do you want of me, Lord? Where do you want me to serve you? Where can I sing your praises? I am your song. - lyrics from Servant Song by Donna Marie Margill, OSM

A poem: Mutually Encouraged

We are inspired
We see our God
in one another
We have been called
each sister and brother
to share our lives
and give to the other
the gift of ourselves
no matter how raw,
unfinished, unwhole
to make perfect the plan
that God has begun
So let your light shine
and let your heart speak
Don't be afraid to share what you think
'Cause just as you fear and doubt and deny
the other is waiting to come look inside
to find all the answers they're seeking in vain
for which they need you to get through the pain
So stand up and witness
Break loose and run free
for here in this place
there's hope, can't you see?
As each of us shares in communion of love
we become one Body
one Lord from above
We speak and we share
We hold and endure
And in our great triumph
God's presence is known
For where two or three
come close in His name
we all are transformed,
made whole; we all gain
The power of love can conquer all fear
when we're willing to listen, come close
and draw near
So don't be afraid, and don't run away
This power of peace is with us to stay.

(C) 2011 Kristin Firestone

"...that we may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith..." Romans 1:12

God in the Gazebo

Everyone knows that to get college students to an event, one must serve food. And not just any food. Free food. So, when I decided that I wanted to launch a new type of event at the Mount called "God in the Gazebo," my friend and fellow campus minister, Gaile, suggested that I start with something a little more accessible, and that I definitely serve food. So, we advertized "Snacks in the Gazebo," a chance for students to come out of their dorms and enter a structure that had previously been closed to them: a tall, stone gazebo, looking something like Rapunzel's tower. Straight out of a storybook (like most of the buildings here at MSMC's Doheny campus). The flyer was a night shot of the gazebo lit up from the inside and from on top the tower, beckoning like a lighthouse into the night. "Spooky" is how one student described the building, which sits closed, locked and tucked away into a corner of the property just beyond where anyone would typically travel. Getting girls out there would require something tantalizing, and getting them to come back, something creative.

I went around with cookies at 7:30, hoping to entice them with my invitation to come out at 9 for said snacks. But when I had made it through half of a floor and my cookie plate was nearly empty (& after I realized I wouldn't have enough snacks for all the girls who said they were coming), I decided to abort that operation and just head for set up. The crew met me in my room (Flor, Jas & Tina) and we took to transforming the creepy, abandoned tower into a space fit for guests. The spread was bountiful, the candles plenty, and the incense sweet. Soft ambient music played from Flor's iPod (an eclectic blend of Japanese, Celtic and other peace-inducing melodies) and "Snacks in the Gazebo" began. As girls arrived, they gathered in around the food table, munching and talking. I could almost hear the sigh of relief as some of them shared that this was their study break, and now the smoke and soft light could whisk them away to another place, even if for a moment.

I enjoyed my talks with many of the young ladies, as I listened to them share about their adjustment to college life, courses of study and stresses. I even found some Valley girls here - some ladies who grew up in and attended school in my hometown of Canoga Park. Some faces and names were new, and others I encountered again for second and third times. My struggle is remembering their names. I hope to get better at that.

Tonight, I felt a presence in that Gazebo. Particularly, I felt the presence of the spirit of one person supporting me - one whose ministry greatly influenced me in direct and indirect ways throughout and beyond my own college experience: Sr. Peg Dolan. She had such a beautiful way of communicating God's presence to groups and individuals just by being herself, listening well and sharing carefully-chosen words of wisdom and encouragement. Thankfully, with the help of her spirit and the Holy Spirit, a lot of candllight, and some food, people came together just a little more closely tonight. We seemed to float on grace. I'm grateful (and only a little surprised) that, despite the culinary focus, we did encounter God in the Gazebo tonight, after all.

Random Acts

A random cute guy steps up to get his change from Surjit at the 76 station window: 3 fives and a quarter. "Add this to the fund," he says and slides the quarter back through the tray toward the massive expanse of my change that has taken over the counter. Surjit has already counted 8 of the 10 dollars I brought in my ziplock bag, which I counted earlier this morning to be precisely $10, and of which I refused to lose $0.98 to the coin count machine at Albertson's for a service charge. (If I had, by the way, agreed to buy one of the offered gift cards with my change, the machine would've counted my money for free, but being that they are my last $10 until Friday, I was not willing to lose even that .098 on the dollar.).

Ah, Simi Valley. Where the kindness of strangers reaches out as freely as the rays of sunshine through my second-story bedroom window. I am thankful today to be living in such a friendly place, where a random act of kindness from Random Cute Guy wearing an FBI t-shirt and a smile is surpassed only by the sweetness of Surjit who, when I apologized for bringing him a bag of coins, leaned in and said to me, "That's ok - everyone's broke right now."

In the spirit of this blog's title, I have selected a 'random' line from the book of Acts (the biblical Acts of the Apostles). I've chosen chapter 8 (my pump #) and verse 10 (the dollar amount of my bill), just for fun. I think it has relevance, or maybe it is just truly random. You can decide: All of them, from the least to the greatest, paid attention to him, saying, "This man is the 'Power of God' that is called 'Great.'" (Acts of the apostles, 8:10).

Or, perhaps, we'll go with chapter 10, verse 25 (my bill after Random Cute Guy's contribution), which reads, "When Peter entered, Cornelius met him and, falling at his feet, paid him homage." Well, that doesn't really say much of anything, so let's throw in the next line: "Peter, however, raised him up, saying, 'Get up. I myself am also a human being.'"

Aren't we all? Some much more than others.

Thanks, guys.

Peace,
Kristin

A poem: Love Pursued

Love pursued me from behind; I ran the other way
I couldn’t stop for fear it’d take me rather far away
Love pursued – it did not stop – until I ran too far,
Then stooped and picked my sad heart up and took me to the car
We drove and drove through many miles of pain and strife and woe
Until I realized that this was not the way to go
So round-a-bout we made a turn back to the place we’d started
And rolled our sleeves up nice and high and (even heavy-hearted)
We dug and dug and dug ‘til we could scrape the ground no more
And wound up falling, naked, gasping right there on the floor
And just when I thought time had passed and I was all alone,
Love came and found me, picked me up and placed me on the phone
With one whose journey – there and gone – had found my resting place
And now love has me standing facing love in sweet embrace
Where will we go? I’m asking love, for I must know the way
‘It’s already inside you, love,’ my new love hears me say
And so it is through life and dream and story never told
That I begin – here – from the start with love impassioned, bold
No matter where our journey leads,
‘Round hills and dales and bends
We know the journey home to love is one which does not end
For right when we’ve held up our hands in desperateness and pleas
Love looks at us, has mercy, rises up from on our knees
And so, my friend, whenever you feel lost and so afraid
Remember all that you have learned – the promises Love’s made
And go wherever tide and season, bliss and yearning lead
Into the arms of one who’ll never leave your soul in need
For deep within the heart of every woman, child and man
Are seeds of Love to grow you home right back where you began
It is a circle ever spun, this life we live of ours
And love is in the center of it giving us its powers
With strength and power deep and sure it rescues empty hearts
With love and deep compassion calling always for all parts
of us to come together, mend and bind and come as one
Into the arms of love where one is never ever done
Completion, wholeness are our gifts to cherish in this life
But love - sweet love - is something that will never, never die


- Kristin Firestone, August 2010