Dear God,

I want to get married.
I want to BE married.
And raise children (more than one, please).
I want to pour Sunny Delight in a sunny kitchen with a window over the sink,
and do laundry,
and play soccer with my kids in the park (I know I don't really like playing sports, but I'd do it with my kids).

I'd like to join the PTA so I can influence the education system, and also be an example of peace and patience for the other parents who may drive themselves and each other crazy.

And then I want to take my family on a pilgrimage to the Holy Land where we learn about the foundations of the Judeo-Christian faith and explore the places where Jesus lived and died... and rose again.

I want to go backpacking with my husband (before the kids, of course - it just seems too difficult with little ones, and by the time they're big, I might be too old :)

If it's ok, I'd also like to have a nice home with plenty of space to house guests, and a husband who's totally open to the idea of taking in friends and even strangers (trustworthy) year-round and not just during major holidays.

Is it ok if we're really musical? You know how much I love music. And I'm alright with my husband not being a great musician himself, but, God, I really need him to love music - a lot. My kids are going to be musically talented in some way (highly likely), so it's important to me that he appreciate the place of music and artistic endeavors in life.

Oh, and while you're at it, please make him strong (inside and out), handsome, charming, funny, kind, witty, smart, open-minded, patient, peaceful, happy, healthy, and someone who enjoys talking as much as I do. 'Cause I need a lot of good conversation.

So, there you have it. Consider this my request, please. Of course, I know that in Your Infinite Wisdom, you will send me the man that I NEED before I'll get the one I WANT. If there's a way for them to be one-and-the-same, I will be in full support of receiving THAT!

~Kristin

I like you...but I don't get you.

Tonight, I was told by someone, "I really like you, but I just don't get you sometimes."

How am I to take that?

Is that a compliment? A stab at my dark side? Is it a situation to remedy, and, if so, whose responsibility is it to do that?

If someone likes me, but doesn't get me, what/who do they like, exactly?

I don't know if I want the kind of "like" that someone who doesn't "get me" is offering.

Then again, maybe I don't "get me."

A poem: I googled love

I googled love the other night

Taking too long to load, I cancelled the page

I wish I could do a search for how it used to feel to kiss you.

(C) 2009 Kristin Firestone

A poem: Love Pursued

Love pursued me from behind; I ran the other way
I couldn’t stop for fear it’d take me rather far away
Love pursued – it did not stop – until I ran too far,
Then stooped and picked my sad heart up and took me to the car
We drove and drove through many miles of pain and strife and woe
Until I realized that this was not the way to go
So round-a-bout we made a turn back to the place we’d started
And rolled our sleeves up nice and high and (even heavy-hearted)
We dug and dug and dug ‘til we could scrape the ground no more
And wound up falling, naked, gasping right there on the floor
And just when I thought time had passed and I was all alone,
Love came and found me, picked me up and placed me on the phone
With one whose journey – there and gone – had found my resting place
And now love has me standing facing love in sweet embrace
Where will we go? I’m asking love, for I must know the way
‘It’s already inside you, love,’ my new love hears me say
And so it is through life and dream and story never told
That I begin – here – from the start with love impassioned, bold
No matter where our journey leads,
‘Round hills and dales and bends
We know the journey home to love is one which does not end
For right when we’ve held up our hands in desperateness and pleas
Love looks at us, has mercy, rises up from on our knees
And so, my friend, whenever you feel lost and so afraid
Remember all that you have learned – the promises Love’s made
And go wherever tide and season, bliss and yearning lead
Into the arms of one who’ll never leave your soul in need
For deep within the heart of every woman, child and man
Are seeds of Love to grow you home right back where you began
It is a circle ever spun, this life we live of ours
And love is in the center of it giving us its powers
With strength and power deep and sure it rescues empty hearts
With love and deep compassion calling always for all parts
of us to come together, mend and bind and come as one
Into the arms of love where one is never ever done
Completion, wholeness are our gifts to cherish in this life
But love - sweet love - is something that will never, never die


- Kristin Firestone, August 2010

Case of the Ex-

So, I'm 31 years old. Old enough to have friends who are married with children. Old enough to be married with children of my own ('though not quite). But tonight I had an experience that brought to my awareness my true age. It had to do with finding an 'ex' online.

I had wondered about this guy, Brian, for a while. He and I met and dated for a few months a few years back. We hit it off, and had a pretty good connection. Then, he went away on a business trip, and never called me again. Not too big of a loss - I felt that 'though we had amazing chemistry, there was just a certain something missing - but it still stung, and I've carried it around as a kind of rejection ever since.

Tonight I had the crazy idea of just looking him up on Facebook, and I found him. And not only him, but his wife and adorable baby boy as well. Turns out that just after he and I dated, he met, fell in love with and married the love of his life. I went to their website, this very well-designed celebration of their love. I rejoice with him, and I'm happy for him. His wife is not nearly as cute as me, but I guess that just goes to show what true love will do to a person. ;-)

So, to all the ones I've loved and lost (or let go), I wish you happiness, success and a long life of fulfillment. Cheers!